-You do not need to be sicker to get help.
- You do not need to self harm or starve yourself to ‘prove’ that you’re struggling.
- You deserve help, you are worth it.
If you’re struggling, you deserve to get help. No ifs. No buts!
Did you Know? Contrary to popular belief Master Gracey is not the Ghost host who guides you through the Haunted Mansion? The tomb stone that refers to Master Gracey is like most of the tomb stones outside the haunted mansion, a reference to a Disney Imagineer. That Imagineer is none other than Yale Gracey a man who had a large hand in the creation of the Haunted Mansion. The reason why it says Master on the tomb stone is because in the older use of the word it meant a child who was to young to be called Mister. This was made to showcase the childlike wonder and playfulness that Yale showed when he was at work. In fact the Ghost Hosts body (which we shall assume it’s him due to his spiel “There is always my way” implying he hung himself) which can be seen in the stretching room matches and resembles the portrait of one of the Sinister 11. For those that don’t know the Sinister 11 are a series of portraits found within the mansion that are exclusive to the Florida and Tokyo versions of the attraction. They used to have eyes inside of each portrait that would follow you as you went along. To add more to this theory Disney even confirmed themselves that Master Gracy is in fact not the Ghost Host. So if our guide is indeed the man with the hatchet. That leaves the question, who is the Ghost Host? Is he a happy haunt? Or someone far more malevolent? My guess would be the latter.
Alternatives for when you’re feeling angry or restless:
- Scribble on photos of people in magazines
- Viciously stab an orange
- Throw an apple/pair of socks against the wall
- Have a pillow fight with the wall
- Scream very loudly
- Tear apart newspapers, photos, or magazines
- Go to the gym, dance, exercise
- Listen to music and sing along loudly
- Draw a picture of what is making you angry
- Beat up a stuffed bear
- Pop bubble wrap
- Pop balloons
- Splatter paint
- Scribble on a piece of paper until the whole page is black
- Filling a piece of paper with drawing cross hatches
- Throw darts at a dartboard
- Go for a run
- Write your feelings on paper then rip it up
- Use stress relievers
- Build a fort of pillows and then destroy it
- Throw ice cubes at the bathtub wall, at a tree, etc
- Get out a fine tooth comb and vigorously brush the fur of a stuffed animal (but use gentle vigor)
- Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old shirt or sock
- Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at; cut and tear it instead of yourself
- Flatten aluminium cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go
- On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture
- Break sticks
- Cut up fruits
- Make yourself as comfortable as possible
- Stomp around in heavy shoes
- Play handball or tennis
- Yell at what you are breaking and tell it why you are angry, hurt, upset, etc.
- Buy a cheap plate and decorate it with markers, stickers, cut outs from magazines, words, images, what ever that expresses your pain and sadness and when you’re done, smash it. (Please be careful when doing this)
Alternatives that will give you a sensation (other than pain) without harming yourself:
- Hold ice in your hands, against your arm, or in your mouth
- Run your hands under freezing cold water
- Drink freezing cold water
- Splash your face with cold water
- Put PVA/Elmer’s glue on your hands then peel it off
- Massage where you want to hurt yourself
- Take a hot shower/bath
- Jump up and down to get some sensation in your feet
- Write or paint on yourself
- Arm wrestle with a member of your family
- Take a cold bath
- Bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root
- Rub liniment under your nose
- Put tiger balm on the places you want to cut. (Tiger balm is a muscle relaxant cream that induces a tingly sensation. You can find it in most health food stores and vitamin stores.)
Alternatives that will distract you or take up time:
- Say “I’ll self harm in fifteen minutes if I still want to” and keep going for periods of fifteen minutes until the urge fades
- Color your hair
- Count up to ten getting louder until you are screaming
- Sing on the karaoke machine
- Complete something you’ve been putting off
- Take up a new hobby
- Make a cup of tea
- Tell and laugh at jokes
- Play solitaire
- Count up to 500 or 1000
- Surf the net
- Make as many words out of your full name as possible
- Count ceiling tiles or lights
- Search ridiculous things on the web
- Colour coordinate your wardrobe
- Play with toys, such as a slinky
- Go to the park and play on the swings
- Call up an old friend
- Go “people watching”
- Carry safe, rather than sharp, things in your pockets
- Do school work
- Play a musical instrument
- Watch TV or a movie
- Paint your nails
- Alphabetize your CDs or books
- Make origami to occupy your hands
- Doodle on sheets of paper
- Dress up or try on old clothes
- Play computer games or painting programs, such as photoshop
- Write out lyrics to your favorite song
- Play a sport
- Read a book/magazine
- Do a crossword
- Draw a comic strip
- Make a chain link out of paper counting the hours or days you’ve been self harm free using pretty colored paper
- Knit, sew, or make a necklace
- Make ‘scoobies’ - braid pieces of plastic or lace, to keep your hands busy
- Buy a plant and take care of it
- Hunt for things on eBay or Amazon
- Browse the forums
- Go shopping
- Memorize a poem with meaning
- Learn to swear in another language
- Look up words in a dictionary
- Play hide-and-seek with your siblings
- Go outside and watch the clouds roll by
- Plan a party
- Find out if any concerts will be in your area
- Make your own dance routine
- Trace your hand on a piece of paper; on your thumb, write something you like to look at; on your index finger, write something you like to touch; on your middle finger, write your favorite scent; on your ring finger, write something you like the taste of; on your pinky finger, write something you like to listen to; on your palm, write something you like about yourself
- Plan regular activities for your most difficult time of day
- Finish homework before it’s due
- Take a break from mental processing
- Notice black and white thinking
- Get out on your own, get away from the stress
- Go on YouTube
- Make a scrapbook
- Colour in a picture or colouring book.
- Make a phone list of people you can call for support. Allow yourself to use it.
- Pay attention to your breathing (breath slowly, in through your nose and out through your mouth)
- Pay attention to the rhythmic motions of your body (walking, stretching, etc.)
- Learn HALT signals (hungry, angry, lonely, tired)
- Choose a random object, like a paper clip, and try to list 30 different uses for it
- Pick a subject and research it on the web - alternatively, pick something to research and then keep clicking on links, trying to get as far away from the original topic as you can.
- Take a small step towards a goal you have.
Alternatives that are completely bizarre. At the least, you’ll have a laugh:
- Crawl on all fours and bark like a dog or another animal
- Run around outside screaming
- Laugh for no reason whatsoever
- Make funny faces in a mirror
- Without turning orange, self tan
- Put faces on apples, oranges, or other sorts of food
- Go to the zoo and name all of the animals
- Color on the walls
- Blow bubbles
- Pull weeds in the garden
Alternatives for when you’re feeling guilty, sad, or lonely:
- Congratulate yourself on each minute you go without self harming
- Draw or paint
- Look at the sky
- Instead of punishing yourself by self harming, punish yourself by not self harming
- Call a friend and ask for company
- Buy a cuddly toy
- Give someone a hug with a smile
- Put a face mask on
- Watch a favorite TV show or movie
- Eat something ridiculously sweet
- Remember a happy moment and relive it for a while in your head
- Treat yourself to some chocolate
- Try to imagine the future and plan things you want to do
- Look at things that are special to you
- Compliment someone else
- Make sculptures
- Watch fish
- Let yourself cry
- Play with a pet
- Have or give a massage
- Imagine yourself living in a perfect home and describe it in your mind
- If you’re religious, read the bible or pray
- Light a candle and watch the flame (but please be careful)
- Go chat in the chat room
- Allow yourself to cry; crying is a healthy release of emotion
- Accept a gift from a friend
- Carry tokens to remind you of peaceful comforting things/people
- Take a hot bath with bath oil or bubbles
- Curl up under a comforter with hot cocoa and a good book
- Make affirmation tapes inside you that are good, kind, gentle (Sometimes you can do this by writing down the negative thoughts and then physically re-writing them into positive messages)
- Make a tray of special treats and tuck yourself into bed with it and watch TV or read
Alternatives for when you’re feeling panicky or scared:
- “See, hear and feel”-5 things, then 4, then 3 and countdown to one which will make you focus on your surroundings and will calm you down
- Listen to soothing music; have a CD with motivational songs that you can listen to
- Meditate or do yoga
- Name all of your soft toys
- Hug a pillow or soft toy
- Hyper focus on something
- Do a “reality check list” – write down all the things you can list about where you are now (e.g. It is the 9th November 2004, I’m a room and everything is going to be alright)
- With permission, give someone a hug
- Drink herbal tea
- Crunch ice
- Hug a tree
- Go for a walk if it’s safe to do so
- Feel your pulse to prove you’re alive
- Go outside and attempt to catch butterflies or lizards
- Put your feet firmly on the floor
- Accept where you are in the process. Beating yourself up, only makes it worse
- Touch something familiar/safeLeave the room
- Lay on your back in bed comfortably (eyes closed), and breathe in for 4, hold for 2, out for 4, hold for 2. Make sure to fill your belly up with air, not your chest. If your shoulders are going up, keep working on it. When you’re comfortable breathing, put your hand on your belly and rub up and down in time with your breathing. If your mind wanders to other things, move it back to focusing ONLY on the synchronized movement of your hand and breathing.
- Give yourself permission to…. (Keep it safe)
Alternatives that will hopefully make you think twice about harming yourself:
- Think about how you don’t want scars
- Treat yourself nicely
- Remember that you don’t have to hurt yourself just because you’re thinking about self harm
- Create a safe place to go
- Acknowledge that self harm is harmful behavior: say “I want to hurt myself” rather than “I want to cut”
- Repeat to yourself “I don’t deserve to be hurt” even if you don’t believe it
- Remember that you always have the choice not to cut: it’s up to you what you do
- Think about how you may feel guilty after self harming
- Remind yourself that the urge to self harm is impulsive: you will only feel like cutting for short bursts of time
- Avoid temptation
- Get your friends to make you friendship bracelets: wear them around your wrists to remind you of them when you want to cut
- Be with other people
- Make your own list of things to do instead of self harm
- Make a list of your positive character traits
- Be nice to your family, who in return, will hopefully be nice to you
- Put a band-aid on the area where you’d like to self harm
- Recognize and acknowledge the choices you have NOW
- Pay attention to the changes needed to make you feel safe
- Notice “choices” versus “dilemmas”
- Lose the “should-could-have to” words. Try… “What if”
- Kiss the places you want to SH or kiss the places you have healing wounds. It can be a reminder that you care about myself and that you don’t want this
- Choose your way of thinking, try to resist following old thinking patterns
- The Butterfly project- draw a butterfly on the place(s) that you would self harm and if the butterfly fades without self-harming, it means it has lived and flown away, giving a sense of achievement. Whereas if you do self-harm with the butterfly there; you will have to wash it off. If that does happen, you can start again by drawing a new one on. You can name the butterfly after someone you love.
- Write the name of a loved one [a friend, family member, or anyone else who cares about you] and write their name where you want to self harm. When you go to self harm remember how much they care and wouldn’t want you to harm yourself.
- think about what you would say to a friend who was struggling with the same things you are and try to be a good friend to yourself.
- Make a bracelet out duct tape, and put a line on it every day (Or any period of time) you go without self harm. When it’s full of lines, take it off and make a chain out of all the bracelets and hang it up somewhere where you can be reminded of your great progress.
Alternatives that give the illusion of seeing something similar to blood:
- Draw on yourself with a red pen or body paint, or go to a site such as this, where you ‘cut’ the screen (be aware that some users may find this triggering, so view with caution)
- Cover yourself with plasters where you want to cut
- Give yourself a henna or fake tattoo
- Make “wounds” with makeup, like lipstick
- Take a small bottle of liquid red food coloring and warm it slightly by dropping it into a cup of hot water for a few minutes. Uncap the bottle and press its tip against the place you want to cut. Draw the bottle in a cutting motion while squeezing it slightly to let the food color trickle out.
- Draw on the areas you want to cut using ice that you’ve made by dropping six or seven drops of red food color into each of the ice-cube tray wells.
- Paint yourself with red tempera paint.
- ‘Cut’ your skin with nail polish (it feels cold, but it’s hard to get off)
Alternatives to help you sort through your feelings:
- Phone a friend and talk to them
- Make a collage of how you feel
- Negotiate with yourself
- Identify what is hurting so bad that you need to express it in this way
- Write your feelings in a diary
- Free write (Write down whatever you’re thinking at that moment, even if it doesn’t make sense)
- Make lists of everything such as blessings in your life
- Make a notebook of song lyrics that you relate to
- Call a hotline
- Write a letter to someone telling them how you feel (but you don’t have to send it if you decide not to)
- Start a grateful journal where everyday you write down three: good things that happened/ things that you accomplished/ are grateful for/ made you smile. Make sure the journal is strictly for positive things. Then when you feel down you can go back and look at it.
Drawing/painting on my arms and such really helps me for some reason. I’m an art student and really love the smell of paint. Be careful and make sure you’re using non-toxic things though
nani was NINETEEN and such a fucking badass who was so protective of lilo and just ROLLED with aliens being a thing towards the end of the movie. #1 Disney relative of all time.
I have honestly been waiting AGES for the right gifset to express the wonderful perfection that is Nani. She is not only protective of Lilo, she respects the way Lilo’s imagination and quirkiness works.
Pudge the fish got a peanut butter sandwich every Thursday. Nani does not argue the logic of feeding him, only suggests an alternative sandwich when they are out of peanut butter. Lilo was allowed to take as many photos of whatever mundane or odd subjects as she wanted and Nani would get them developed. Nani recognized what were important habits for Lilo.
When Lilo asks for a pet lobster, Nani does not tell her that lobsters are not pets. She tells her, “We don’t have a lobster door, we have a dog door.” She makes sure the woman at the pound does not tell Lilo that “Stitch is not a real name”.
NANI SPENDS THE ENTIRE MOVIE MAKING SURE THAT LILO NEVER FEELS LIKE HER IDEAS ARE WRONG.
The only time we truly see Nani get angry with Lilo is when she is scared of Lilo being taken away. Nani spends the entire movie stressed out over taking care of her sister, trying to find a job, trying to make sure her sister has a friend, and yet she is always willing to put that extra effort, over and over again, to make sure that Lilo always believes that anything is possible.
This is a great moment because she probably *remembered* that Lilo said this once. And you know what? Shes not ending this day by letting her little sister think this is her fault. She’s not having an easy time trying to be a parent, but she knows none of this is her sisters fault, and shes not going to let her think it is.
And half of her terror of losing Lilo isnt even just losing her family; its knowing that wherever Lilo goes, they won’t know how to do these things. They won’t understand her.
What a good movie.
Casual reminder that the reason Lilo obsessively feeds the fish is because her parents died in a rainstorm and she firmly believes Pudge controls the weather. If you pay attention to the feeding sequence you will notice that storm clouds recede and dissipate, a visual narrative that confirms this.
It’s not just a habit. It’s a very real part of Lilo’s healing process and Nani understands that.
Also if you pay attention to Nani’s room you’ll notice she had surfing posters and trophies. She was very much on her way to being a pro surfer but had to give it up to become the adult Lilo needed her to be.
And not ONCE does Nani show her sister any resentment. It’s worth it to keep her family together. This is a young woman who is willing to sacrifice all of her dreams and make incredibly grown up decisions.
What I am saying is Nani is the best disney princess of all time. Disney Queen even.
LOVE this movie
I never noticed Nani’s trophies. Just when I think I cannot adore a character more…
WHAT YOU SHOULD DO:
- Stay with us and keep calm.
The last thing we need when we’re panicking, is to have someone else panicking with us.
- Offer medicine if we usually take it during an attack.
You might have to ask whether or not we take medicine- heck, some might not; but please, ask. It really helps.
- Move us to a quiet place.
We need time to think, to breathe. Being surrounded by people isn’t going to help.
- Don’t make assumptions about what we need. Ask.
We’ll tell you what we need. Sometimes; you may have to ask- but never assume.
- Speak to us in short, simple sentences.
- Be predictable. Avoid surprises.
- Help slow our breathing by breathing us or by counting slowly to 10.
As odd as it sounds, it works.WHAT YOU SHOULDN’T DO:
1. Say, “You have nothing to be panicked about.”
We know. We know. We know. And because we know we have nothing to be panicked about, we panic even more. When I realize that my anxiety is unfounded, I panic even more because then I feel like I’m not in touch with reality. It’s unsettling. Scary.
Most of the time, a panic attack is irrational. Sometimes they stem from circumstances — a certain couch triggers a bad memory or being on an airplane makes you claustrophobic or a break up causes you to flip your lid — but mostly, the reasons I’m panicking are complex, hard to articulate or simply, unknown. I could tell myself all day that I have no reason to be having a panic attack and I would still be panicking. Sometimes, because I’m a perfectionist, I become even more overwhelmed when I think my behaviour is “unacceptable” (as I often believe it is when I’m panicking). I know it’s all in my mind, but my mind can be a pretty dark and scary place when it gets going.
Alternate suggestion: Say, “I understand you’re upset. It is okay. You have a right to be upset and I am here to help.”
2. Say, “Calm down.”
This reminds me of a MadTV sketch where Bob Newhart plays a therapist who tells his patients to simply “Stop it!” whenever they express anxiety or fear. As a sketch, it’s funny. In real life, it’s one of the worst things you can do to someone having a panic attack. When someone tells me to “stop panicking” or to “calm down,” I just think, “Oh, okay. I haven’t tried that one. Hold on, let me get out a pen and paper and jot that down, you jerk.”
Instead of taking action so that they do relax, simply telling a panicking person to “calm down” or “stop it” does nothing. No-thing.
Alternate suggestion: The best thing to do is to listen and support. In order to calm them down without the generalities, counting helps.
3. Say, “I’m just going to leave you alone for a minute.”
Being left alone while panicking makes my heart race even harder. The last thing I want is to be left by myself with my troubled brain. Many of my panic attacks spark from over-thinking and it’s helpful to have another person with me, not only for medical reasons (in case I pass out or need water) but also it’s helpful to have another person around to force me to think about something other than the noise in my head.
Alternate suggestion: It sometimes helps me if the person I’m with distracts me by telling me a story or sings to me. I need to get out of my own head and think about something other than my own panic.
4. Say, “You’re overreacting.”
Here’s the thing: I’m not. Panic attacks might be in my head, but I’m in actual physical pain. If you’d cut open your leg, no one would be telling you you’re overreacting. It’s a common trope in mental health to diminish the feelings or experience of someone suffering from anxiety or panic because there’s no visible physical ailment and because there’s no discernible reason for the person to be having such a strong fear reaction.
The worst thing you can tell someone who is panicking is that they are overreacting.
Alternate suggestion: Treat a panic attack like any other medical emergency. Listen to what the person is telling you. Get them water if they need it. It helps me if someone rubs my back a little. If you’re in over your head, don’t hesitate to call 911 (or whatever the emergency services number is where you are). But please, take the person seriously. Mental health deserves the same respect as physical health.
Perfect except on number 3, the person may want to be left alone, ask them whether or not they want you to go, it often depends on the person.
The issue is all of these suggestions will maintain the panic condition (see here). If the individual struggling with panic is okay with that, then that’s fine and their decision, but it couldn’t hurt to offer more accurate information so such individuals can make an informed decision.
Why would you call 911? Unless the individual is in physical danger, don’t do that. If they’re suicidal or in some sort of inevitable threat, then of course, but that’s not what a panic attack is by itself. That’s very irresponsible to promote…
I DO have Hallucinations actually! Here is what they are like.
TW: Mention of rape non-graphic
E: E is a changing color/shape/light person/being. When I see E, (ONLY see, never hear, or anything else.) I become unsure as to whether or not she is real or not. I feel very safe and happy when she’s around. Like i’m seeing an old friend. When I am not seeing E, I understand that “she” is a hallucination, and my brain has invented “her”. Patrick likes her because she is nice.
Jubal: Jubal is actually the character from Firefly, Jubal Early. He threatens to rape a character in the one episode he appeared in. He became the subject of many nightmares, and eventually became an auditory hallucination that still threatens me with physical harm. Similar to E, When I hear him, I believe he will actually hurt me, but when he isn’t, I know he’s a creation of my mind. He’s the reason i’m triggered by deep and distorted voices.
Other Voices:Sometimes other, nameless voices cast their unwelcome opinions. This is usually at night while I’m trying to sleep, and easy to ignore.
Here is a link to a really realistic audio representation of auditory hallucinations.
It may be triggering for some people, it’s a little intense. The voices say mean things, and make scary noises. I can’t listen to it. It makes me cry. If you have auditory hallucinations I don’t reccomend it.
I re-opened my ask, and am confident that it will go smoothly. Kind of a long story.
WHEN I reopened my ask I found I had 3 asks. I don’t know how that happened. I will answer them next!
I spoke too soon. I’ve been feeling horrible today and had a hallucination at theater today, which I always try to avoid because it freaks out some of the staff, and only the campers who double as friends know about my mental illness. I was forced to keep saying “Yeah I’m fine, i’m just not feeling well.” When the honest truth was I was scared and sad.
I’m doing so excellent! I started properly taking care of myself for the first time in months, and I just ate a metric fuckton of fruit.
I’m feeling so good today, and things are looking up!